L's Nose Bleed Solution
by Loves-Chihuahuas
Summary: After Light and L's epic fight, L finds that he has a nose bleed, which he creatively resolves in such a way as to give Light mental scars and Watari to give L a special talk… Rated T for mental scars. Please R


**Summary**: After Light and L's epic fight, L finds that he has a nose bleed, which he creatively resolves in such a way as to give Light mental scars and Watari to give L a special talk… Muhahahah! Let the funny begin! Rated T for mental scars. Please R&R.

**By**: my brain

_**Disclaimer**_: I do not own Death Note, nor the Beatles, nor a functioning pair of fingernail clippers. AH NEEDS TO CUT MAH NAILS!

**Warning**: contains mental scarring of a teenager and mentions of terrifying ways to stop a nose bleed.

**Important Info**: This is right after, like 5 seconds, Light's and L's epic chained fight. They are chained(duh). And, um, yes. L has a nose bleed.

_**L's Nose Bleed Solution**_

Subtitle: Nose plugged

L and Light stumbled out of Misa's room, leaving her to pick cake off her foot and talk to herself in 3rd person. They walked slowly and painfully to the investigation room, still sore as heck from their tussle.

Just as the pair of geniuses entered the room, however, L stopped, causing Light to bounce off L's scrawny back. "What-why aren't you walking?" Light asked L angrily.

L turned to face Light, looking down at his cupped right hand. Unnerved by the detective's strange behavior, Light also looked at L's cupped hand, seeing a drop of blood descend into it to join a small pool of red liquid already in said hand.

"Uh, L," Light said, not sure whether the detective had ever actually bled before or if he was just being annoying on purpose, "I think you're bleeding."

"I know," L replied calmly, looking up at Light, "More specifically, I am leaking blood from my nose."

L did indeed have blood dribbling down from his left nostril, and a large amount at that.

"You should probably stop the bleeding," Light said uncertainly, "Do you know how?"

L blinked owlishly up at Light, then answered in his monotone, "I know."

And with those two words, L turned away from the investigation room and dragged light down the hallway. The panda detective stopped in front of a supply closet, causing Light to bounce off his back for a second time.

"Would you stop doing that!?" Light fumed, righting himself. L did not answer and only slipped into the supply closet, snapping the door shut behind him in Light's face.

Light heard L turn on the light and fumble through some boxes inside the supply closet. Deciding he did not care what L was up to, Light turned around from the door and started tapping his foot impatiently. When the door finally opened, Light did not turn around as he said, "Finally!" and took off to the investigation room without a second glance.

L followed behind Light, humming "Strawberry fields forever" quietly to himself, which annoyed the heck out of Light.

Light plopped himself down in his computer chair and started on his work, L doing likewise beside him. L continued to hum his favorite Beatles song as he searched through files, grating on Light's nerves.

"What is with you?" Light demanded, finally turning to face L, "Why do you keep humming that so- AIAHHHH! WHAT IS THAT!?" Light screeched as he saw L's face.

"Huh?" L asked uncharacteristically, looking as though Light was delusional, "What is what, Light-kun?" he asked, placing his thumb on his lip.

Light inched his chair back from L as he replied in a panicky voice, "What do you have shoved up your nose!?"

L crossed his eyes as he tried to see the object lodged in his left nostril, "Hmm, it would appear to be a Temporarily Applied Manual Plug Of Noses." L stated calmly, very proud of his discovery of the right way to stop a nosebleed on his first try.

"IT'S A BLOODY TAMPON, YOU IDIOT!" Light screeched, now as far away from L as the chain would allow. (Ha, it's a pun, get it?)

"No," L replied calmly, "That is just it's acronym, its full name is Temporarily Applied Manual Plug Of Noses. Do you know nothing?"

The entire investigation team looked over at the chained pair, staring at them in shocked silence. L turned to face his team upon noticing the silence, giving everyone a full view of the mind-scarring scene:

L had 1/3 of a decent-sized tampon shoved up his nose, blood soaking into the visible part just below his nostril, the string hanging down from the bottom of the tampon trailing to his chin.

All movement stopped in the room as everyone gawked at the detective, making him sigh and ask in a rather bored voice, "Don't tell me you guys have never had a nose bleed before?"

The silence was broken by Matsuda's cry of "NOOOOOOO!!!!! Not you too L! All the girls once a month and now the world's greatest detective as well!? It's a DISEASE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!" And with that, Matsuda ran from the room crying and screaming his doomsday theory.

"Uh, what?" L asked blankly as Light vomited(Hurray!) over the side of his chair.

…………….Later that evening…………….

"L," Watari began hesitantly, "That was a very creative idea you came up with, but that is not the proper use of a tampon…"

An hour later: "And that is the menstrual cycle, L" Watari finished, finally done with his horrible and long-awaited talk with L. Looking over at the armchair next to him, he saw a stunned and horrified L rocking back and forth, sucking his thumb. Light, being chained to him and so having to hear the worst 'talk' in the history of man for the second time in his life, was lying on the floor in a puddle of vomit.

END

Did you like it? It didn't seem as funny to me as I thought it would be… but, I could picture L doing something like that! Wouldn't he look cute with a tampon up with nose?! Eh, never mind, hehehehe…..

So, please R&R!


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